choremen
ChoreMen is the list of what your house needs and how often it needs it — bins, sheets, the bit of black stuff in the washing machine seal — plus a text-only wall of other men doing exactly the same jobs on exactly the same Tuesday.
Start a listTry a sample listMake a schedule for your houseMake a rota for your flatHow it works
Free. No photos, no leaderboard, and nothing on your lock screen or in your inbox that you did not ask for.
A title and how often. "Bins out, every 7 days." No projects, no sub-tasks, no priority field — a house does not have a backlog, it has a Tuesday.
The next date is counted from the day you actually did it, not from the day it was due. Mop on Thursday and the next mop is Thursday plus seven. The list stays believable, which is the only reason anyone keeps looking at it.
Every tick answers with something: the true thing about the job you just did — what the black stuff in the seal actually is, why the towels stopped drying you — or, now and then, a reason to stay standing up for another two minutes. Plus whatever it just earned you.
Ticking a chore lets you leave one line on the wall. Everyone else doing the same washing-up sees it. That is the whole social feature.
One button puts this list into your account, from every other day to every six months. Delete the ones that do not apply — half of running a house is working out which half you actually have.
Or answer 9 questions about the place — the floors, the animals, what is actually in the kitchen — and get a schedule worked out from the answers instead, with no account. Every chore on it says which answer put it there; print it, send it, or tick the ones you want onto a list.
Hoovered, and about to mop? How to clean your floor— laminate, vinyl, tile, sealed wood or stone: what to use on yours and what to keep off it, from the flooring makers' own care pages.
White crust in the kettle, the shower head or round the taps? How to remove limescale — choose what it is on first, because the acid that clears a kettle can ruin stone or a coloured tap. From the makers' own care pages.
Standing at the sink with a pan in your hand? Can this go in the dishwasher? — wooden spoons, cast iron, non-stick, knives, flasks and plastics, what to do and why, to look up or send.
Place already got away from you? Where to start cleaning a messy house — three steps in one kitchen, bathroom or bedroom, to tick, stop after any of, print or send.
Standing at the machine with a label you can't read? What laundry symbols mean — the tub, the triangle, the squares, the iron and the circle, in plain words, to look up, send or print.
Just spilled coffee down a shirt? How to remove common laundry stains — coffee, tea, grease, tomato sauce, grass and biro, step by step, and when to leave it to a cleaner.
A pile of washing and no idea what goes with what? Can I wash these clothes together? — add each item by colour, fabric and label, and get the loads, how hot each can go, and what stays out of the machine.
Hands wet, or full? Add housework to your list with an iPhone shortcut — tap, say “descale the kettle every three months”, and a banner says whether it landed. The whole setup, readable before you sign up.
How often to clean everything in a house — all 32chores, and what the mess on each one actually is.
New flat, empty cupboard? The first flat cleaning kit — what to buy before any of these, a printable checklist saying which jobs each thing is for.
Handing a rented flat back? The move-out cleaning checklist — every room of an emptied flat, to tick, print or send to whoever you are leaving with.
New baby coming home? A housework checklist for new dads — the dishes, the washing, the bins, the food shop and a working kitchen and bathroom for the first week, as jobs to own, with a day for each, to print, share or keep on a list.
Somebody on their way round? The guests-arriving checklist — 15, 30 or 60 minutes on the bathroom, the seats, the worktop and the rubbish, to tick, print or send.
38 things worth knowing about the jobs on your list, 13 marks that only ever go up, and one tick in 3 that suggests two minutes of something other than housework. All of it on your own list, all of it counted from your own ticks.
Try a sample list to see it first — tick a chore and get what a tick gives back, with no account and nothing saved.
Limescale is calcium carbonate, so it comes off with acid and not with scrubbing. The black in the washing machine seal is mould, and it is there because the door stays shut. A tip on this list is technique — what the mess is, and therefore what shifts it — never a statistic somebody made up.
Some ticks suggest two minutes of something instead: press-ups on the doorstep while the bin is still out, a handstand against the wall while the floor is clear. It is a suggestion from a text file. Ignoring it costs nothing and is not recorded anywhere.
They land at a first chore, at ten, at a week of showing up, at four in a row. They are counted from your own ticks, they only ever go up, and nobody else can see them — the first one is one chore away and it is the only one that really matters.
Ticking a chore lets you leave one line. Everyone else who signed up sees it. That is the entire social feature, and these are its edges.
No photos of your clean kitchen. Nobody needs the before-and-after and nobody is being graded. Links are refused too — this is not a place to send anyone anywhere.
240 characters. Enough for what you did and a joke about it; not enough for a manifesto about your flatmate.
Streaks, marks and counts are yours and only yours — the API has no query that can see another account's rows, so there is nothing to build a ranking out of. There is no ordering of men by bathroom, because the moment there is one, the point of this is gone.
The wall is not on the open web. There is no moderator yet, so it is kept to people who have at least made an account.
There is a starter list you can take or leave. It is a suggestion from a text file, not a standard you are failing to meet.
One list, one person: yours. Assigning chores to other people is a different product and usually a different argument.
The marks only ever go up, nothing expires, and there is no score to fall. A streak on a chore breaks if you ignore it for a full cycle — that one is a fact about the chore, not a punishment — and the mark it earned you stays.
Nothing arrives because an account exists. There is no red badge, no warning that a streak is about to go, and no message you did not switch on. Two can be switched on and both start off: last week's list once a week, which is a record of what you did rather than a demand about what you have not, and what is due this morning — on your phone if you installed it, in one email if you did not. A morning with nothing due sends nothing at all, and with neither switched on the only email choremen will ever send you is the one you get back for pressing "forgotten your password".
An account is an email address and a password. Nothing is charged for, and nothing is sent to you until you ask for it — last week's list once a week, or what is due each morning, both off until you switch them on.